Using phones, screaming obscenities from the highest point of oblivion, CruisinUK made sure Alton Towers would not forget them in a hurry.
Next stop on there route of rampage was the Black Hole. Stupid ness had hit a new height for these young car obsessed people. A lot of groping was said to have taken place inside the darkness of the rollercoaster, with many reports linking many male groping to a tall wide man answering to Random Guy. Victims were left feeling distressed, and in the some cases, quite turned on.

Hungry and needing a charge up to cause more mayhem, a pit stop at McDonalds was the next point of call governed by their leader – MERV. (This man is known by police as extremely dangerous due to the amount of gel in his hair forming a sharp knife-like doo. He can usually be spotted with a mobile phone attached to his face.)

Once boosted up with grease and sugar, the cruisers returned to their feet, first making sure a go on a bungee game was carried out, ending up with a member known to police only as ‘LANCY’ on crutches.
But the ride AIR was all anyone cared about next, and after a flying piss stop the queue in air was not quite sure what was going on. Major widespread panic hit the crowds as several members of the club became louder and more obnoxious than ever, with throwing and destroying of soft toys.

“At one point one of them (police now believe this person to be Anthony W who answers to Gangsta) had a bird feeder around his neck until another mad man head butted it (police also believe an Anthony C – Random Guy carried out this attack on his fellow cruiser) all I then saw was a bird feeder flying over the queue onto the grass bank below” The witness is in a maximum security hospital fearing for her life.

It wasn’t the last time the queues for Air would suffer the wrath of the cruisers.
The Congo River rapids and haunted house also suffered invasion. With many members of CruisinUK ending up very wet and arguing about who got the highest score on the haunted house ride.

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